It explains, among other things, why Xena is not on the list.
50. Maria Ford
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Bram Stoker must turn over in his grave every time some low-budget producer uses his name to sell a bad movie.
“Burial of the Rats” is just one of those movies. Maria Ford is a looker who does her best in this stinker. She looks great in it, as she does in all of her movies. Sadly, all that got her was a career full of slasher movies and bit parts on TV.
Here’s a quick summary of “Rats”: The leather bikini-wearing man-haters team up with the flesh-eating rats to go after some dude named Bram Stoker. No joke — I can’t make up stuff that good!
Maria Ford saves the day, but not even she can save the movie.
49. Rebekah Kochan
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Rebekah Kochan plays a hottie pirate in “Pirates of Treasure Island”. In that movie, she’s a back-stabbing pirate up against Long John Silver and a dreadful script. Rebekah’s great looking, but the movie is downright terrible. Or maybe it’s supposed to be that way?
A few other beauties get in on the sword fighting action but do yourself a favor and watch Rebekah in one of her better roles. Unless you’re addicted to sword fighting babes. In which case, by all means check it out.
48. Sarah Carter
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There aren’t THAT many good movies that started out as video games. In that context, “DOA: Dead or Alive” is not bad. And Sarah Carter overcomes the movie’s deficiencies to deliver a convincing performance. Even though she doesn’t get top billing, she gets in some of the movie’s best licks during a duel with twenty or so hapless bad guys.
Sarah is now best known for her role in the TV series “Shark”. Sadly, she does not use a sword in that one.
47. Florinda Bolkan
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Brazilian actress Florinda Bolkan barely speaks a word of intelligible English in “Royal Flash”. Her swordplay is pretty brief and mostly unbelievable as well.
So why is she on this list? Because she’s a babe, that’s why.
The movie is not half bad either. It’s a 1975 star vehicle for Malcolm McDowell that features lots of swordplay, some decent acting and loads of cheesy fun.
46. Lauren Hutton
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Lauren Hutton is a good actress and a classic beauty.
How do I know this? Because I’ve seen her flash that gap-tooth smile right on cue. Sadly, she may have made a poor choice when signing up for “Zorro: The Gay Blade”. That movie is no classic beauty.
Lauren wields a saber toward the end of this flick, so skip to the end if you want to see it. No way “Gay Blade” stands up to today’s political correctness, but Lauren has aged quite well. Hopefully we’ll get to see her in another sword fight sometime soon.
45. Natalie Dormer
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Natalie Dormer wields a blade in “Casanova” alongside Sienna Miller and Heath Ledger. We only get a glimpse of her technique, which makes me think there must’ve been more on the cutting room floor. Either way, it’s enough to see her pull off the old “hey buddy, here’s your hat — oh no wait, sorry that’s not your hat, it’s the sharp side of my sword!” trick.
Natalie’s a looker and an up-and-coming actress too. She did a great job in the recent series “The Tudors”, so maybe she’ll start to get some bigger roles. And hopefully some more sword work as well.
44. Daryl Hannah
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Daryl scores most of her points for her blade work. Her looks are a little too Rocky Balboa for my taste. And she’s also not much of an actress. Try to sit through “Legal Eagles” more than once, I dare you.
But she does bring home a gold star for “Kill Bill”. In that flick, she pulls off a convincing clash of swords with killing machine Uma Thurman and walks away having only lost an eye.
She could probably move up on this list if only she showed us a bit more “Blade Runner” and a little less “Splash”.
43. Sybil Danning
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Sybil Danning has starred in some of the worst movies of all time. With dozens of terrible movies under her belt, she’ll forever be remembered as a sexy B-movie queen.
But it’s her sword fighting that got her on this list. Her career reached its pinnacle in 1983, when she played a stunning swordswoman accompanying Lou Ferrigno in the otherwise-forgettable “Seven Magnificent Gladiators”. A bookend to her career peak came just four years later when she got to swing her blade in “The Warrior Queen”, another poor excuse for a film.
Sandra’s pushing sixty now, so I doubt we’ll see her in another sword fighting role. But we can look forward to more B-movies, I’m sure.
42. Brigitte Nielsen
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Brigitte Nielsen starred in “Red Sonja”, which may just be the best movie ever starring an ex-supermodel and an ex-Mr. Universe.
No, wait. “Terminator 3” was better. Okay, so “Red Sonja” is the best movie ever starring an ex-Danish supermodel and an ex-Mr. Universe.
Brigitte, of course, enjoyed a meteoric rise to fame as a model and actress-wannabe. She also enjoyed an equally meteoric flameout. Still, it was fun while it lasted and, for a brief moment, she was considered one of the hottest actresses in Hollywood.
Brigitte was also well known for marrying Sylvester Stallone (aka “Rambo”), so there probably was lots of lively swordplay in that household.
41. Sandahl Bergman
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For a generation of young men, a single performance represented the epitome of hotness. And that performance belonged to none other than Sandahl Bergman. As Valeria in 1983’s “Conan the Barbarian”, she was tough, sexy, and could handle a sword.
She also wowed the boys with her sultry performance in “All That Jazz”.
For a moment, it looked like Sandahl might become a lasting star. Her sword work in “She” and “Red Sonja” was impressive but, alas, it was not to be. She’s been around in supporting roles ever since but never again has returned to such lofty heights.
